The REAL Man
The Principles
What does it mean to pursue manhood? Four principles of what it means to be a man drawn from author Robert Lewis:
1. Reject Passivity
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind” (Romans 12:2)
Every man faces the temptation to do nothing, to be passive, not to take action. The world then conforms us to its mold. Biblical manhood means shaking off passivity and doing what needs to be done and taking action.
Read the story of a young boy who saved his sister from a dog attack.
2. Accept Responsibility
“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.” (1 Corinthians 16:13)
Every man faces the temptation to shirk responsibility. But men are made to accept responsibility for themselves and others at home and work and the world around them. This is a posture that says “I’m willing to take this on, I’m willing to be accountable for this.”
Watch a small character accept a large responsibility, taken from J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings.
3. Lead Courageously
“But as for me and my house we will serve the Lord.” (Joshua 24:16)
Every man faces the temptation to shrink back where there is a moment that calls for leadership and courage. But men were made to lead out courageously whenever there is opportunity across the various areas of their lives. Courage is the call for all men, not just a few.
Read Teddy Roosevelt on courage and the call to the arena.
4. Expect the Greater Reward
“Behold I am coming soon, bringing my recompense with me, to repay each one for what he has done” (Rev 22:12)
Every man faces the temptation to trade long term good for short term pleasure or comfort. But biblical manhood means looking to the reward ahead and working toward it. The great things in life of eternal significance don’t happen immediately so men work faithfully now. And the greatest things in life we only receive in eternity so biblical men work for that great and final day.
Read the story of Jim Eliot who said “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.”
The Need for Men
Men and boys are in a crisis today: Boys are 7% more likely to drop out of high school than girls, a gender gap that Fortune last year noted "has gone largely unaddressed by schools." They have higher rates of unemployment, have shorter life expectancies, and are four times more likely than females to die by suicide. For every 100 bachelors degrees awarded to women only 74 are awarded to men. The largest drop in employment in recent years has been that more and more men aged 25-34 are unemployed. In the new category of “death by despair” (suicide, alcohol, addiction, etc.) 3 out of 4 deaths are men. (See more in The Washington Post.)
One man a reporter talked to summed up the main issue many men are facing: “I just want someone to tell me how to be.” But where do we turn to get guidance on what it means to be a man? And how to become one?
The Guide
We have a book, we have a guide and it is found in the Bible. Being a man is not making the most money, hitting the highest workout PRs in the gym, having the most man toys, or being popular on dating apps. Being a man is much more fundamental.
Men were created, by design, and that design is good. God embedded some things deep within men that they were meant to be. From Genesis 1-3 author Jon Tyson defines manhood this way: a man is an image bearer and son of God, entrusted with power and responsibility to create, cultivate, care, and defend, for God’s glory and the good of others.
Our first father, Adam, failed to be what he was made to be with devastating consequences in Gen 1-3
He was passive and didn’t stop evil from entering the garden
He did not accept responsibility for his wife, creation, or his failure
He did not lead out courageous when he should have
He traded the greater reward for the bite of a forbidden fruit
But Jesus Christ provides a hopeful picture of what it means to be a man in Romans 5
Jesus was not passive but actively on his Father’s mission
Jesus accepted responsibility for his mission and even for all his people, going to the cross for them
Jesus leads courageous as the head of the church and is working a plan to restore all things
Jesus endured the cross for the eternal good of his people
In manhood we aim to imitate Jesus.
The Hope
All of us fall and fall as men. None of us are who we should be. That’s why Jesus came. John 3:16 tells us “For God so loved the world that he gave his only son that whoever believes in him would not perish but have eternal life.” Because Jesus died for our failures we can life a new life. Read more about the hope of Jesus here.
Resources
Community
Find community at Cross of Grace
Find other good churches in your area
Books on Biblical Manhood
The Shepherd Leader at Home by Timothy Witmer
Disciplines of a Godly Man by Kent Hughes
Thoughts for Young Men by J.C. Ryle
Books on Raising Sons
Raising a Modern Day Knight by Robert Lewis
The Intentional Father by Jon Tyson
Books for Men
Band of Brothers by Stephen Ambrose (non-fiction)
The Boys in the Boat by Daniel James Brown (non-fiction)
The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien (fiction)
Books for Boys Becoming Men
The Wingfeather Saga by Andrew Peterson (fiction)
The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis (fiction)